What to Do if you Don’t Want an Engagement Ring

So you don’t want an engagement ring. What happens next?

First, there’s no need to get stressed out. The clothes, jewellery and engagement ring (or lack thereof) you choose to wear is nobody’s business but yours. The whole point of wearing an engagement ring in the first place is to symbolise your commitment to one another as a couple, not to show off your wealth or your style. Some people tend to forget that and think it’s all about your social standing, while others have no issue whatsoever with leaving the tradition and symbolism aside in favour of something real (i.e. a marriage).

Do something else to mark the occasion. So you don’t want a ring. So what? It’s really no big deal. However, the act of getting engaged is a pretty big milestone in your life, and you’ll probably want to mark it somehow. If you’re foregoing a piece of shiny jewellery, consider doing something special instead to make the experience memorable; go to a fancy hotel or restaurant for the night, do something romantic that you’ve always wanted to do – use the money you would’ve spent on a ring to create a magical moment for the two of you!  

Don’t tolerate uncomfortable questions. It’s inevitable. When people hear you’ve gotten engaged, one of their first questions will be ‘where’s the ring?’ It’s such an integral part of engagement traditions that people have come to expect it as a given. Don’t feel pressured to explain your decision; it’s a personal choice and nobody’s business but yours. And if they make any snide remarks about your financial situation or your fiance’s lack of effort, rise above it and realise that those people probably aren’t worth keeping as friends.

Let him know he doesn’t need to prove his love! The majority of partners will be totally understanding of your wish to not wear an engagement ring. There are always a few who struggle to understand why, however. Let them know that you don’t need them to prove their love for you by buying some shiny jewellery – the fact that they asked you to spend the rest of your lives together is more than enough! It also never hurts to sincerely thank them for the offer of buying a ring in the first place.

Plan out your wedding/marriage finances. If you won’t be dropping a wad of cash in the jewellery store, you can get a head start on budgeting for your wedding/marriage. Trust us – it’s never too early! Weddings are not cheap and neither are all the other things that come with a marriage; buying a house, planning a family, and don’t forget the honeymoon. With an accurate budget ready to go, the whole process will be much less stressful (well, at least a little bit less stressful).

Keep an open mind. There’s always a chance that you may change your mind about wearing an engagement ring – and if you do, that’s totally fine. Don’t feel like you’re turning your back on your own opinions or ‘selling out’. And if you don’t change your mind that’s also totally fine! The important thing to remember is to stay open-minded whatever happens and keep the big picture in view. You’re marrying the love of your life, you’re going to be happier than ever before, and that’s all that matters. Whether you wear an engagement ring or not, whether people judge you positively or negatively, if you’re doing what makes you both happy then there’s nothing to worry about.

Get excited! Ring or no ring, you’re still ENGAGED! That’s definitely worth celebrating with all your family and friends, so pop that champagne, post that couples selfie on Facebook and let everybody know how over the moon you both are. Congratulations!